Here’s a collection of some witty and funny quotes about love. Share ‘em with your hubby and give a guffawing edge to each and every day of your life.

I don’t trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.
Vincent Gallo

I love you is 8 letters long. than again so is bullshit.

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never.
Charles Caleb Colton

Love is like a game of chess: One false move and you’re mated.

Love is a state of mind, which has nothing to do with the mind. – Bob Phillips

Absence — that common cure of love.
Miguel De Cervantes

love is like crushing your heart into dust,but within that particles of dust lay the love that will always be for you.
gas arevalo

Don’t threaten me with love, Baby. Let’s just go walking in the rain.
Billie Holiday Thanks for this quote

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
Albert Einstein

One seeks to make the loved one entirely happy, or, if that cannot be, entirely wretched.
Jean de La Bruyere

Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.
John Lennon

Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
W. Somerset Maugham

My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.

A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. Helen Rowland

Love is a serious mental disease.

Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.
Thomas Dewar

You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.

The reduction of the universe to a single being,
the expansion of a single being even to God, this is love.
Victor Hugo

Love is very interesting, providing you make mistakes.
Georges Carpentier

I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen

It’s better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Laurence J. Peter

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did.

Love is wrong, and girls are F***ing EVIL.
The Ataris

If love is a game, it has to be the hardest game in the world. After all, how can anyone win a game where there are no rules?

Forget love – I’d rather fall in chocolate!
Sandra J. Dykes

You can’t buy love on Amazon.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Matt Groening

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
Mae West

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
Miguel de Unamuno

Women fall in love through their ears and men through their eyes.
Woodrow Wyatt

Pay your money and you take your chance When you’re dealing with love and romance
Bruce Cockburn

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, s*x raises some pretty good questions.
Woody Allen

Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another.

When love is in excess it brings a man no honor nor worthiness.

Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.
Lisa Hoffman

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
Gracie Allen

The prerequisite for making love is to like someone enormously.

Love can be sordid only if you work at it.
Brooke McEldowney

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
William Shakespeare

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope
Josh Billings

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.

Love quickens all senses except, perhaps, common sense.

It’s been so long since I made love,
I can’t even remember who gets tied up.
Joan Rivers

When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours that’s relativity.
Albert Einstein

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
Henry Louis Mencken

Love, the itch, and smell of fart cannot be hid.

how on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Albert Einstein

Love is like a butterfly, it settles upon you when you least expect it.

Love is blind but after experiencing it for a long time you should become familiar with some particular spots.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe

Love is a game of Calvinball.
Alan Jaffray

Love is a hole in the heart.
Ben Hecht

Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling it till someone lets it go and hurts the one who held on.

Love is like a glass door… sometimes you don’t see it, and it smacks you right in your face.

One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.
Elizabeth Aston

Love is a kind of sensation that is caused by temptation.

Love, love, you know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types like yourself to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers.
St. Elmo’s Fire

Love is a leap … I was never inspired to jump.

Life is messy. Love is messier.