Here’s a collection of some witty and funny quotes about love. Share ‘em with your hubby and give a guffawing edge to each and every day of your life.
I don’t trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.
I love you is 8 letters long. than again so is bullshit.
Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never.
Charles Caleb Colton
Love is like a game of chess: One false move and you’re mated.
Love is a state of mind, which has nothing to do with the mind. – Bob Phillips
Absence — that common cure of love.
Miguel De Cervantes
love is like crushing your heart into dust,but within that particles of dust lay the love that will always be for you.
Don’t threaten me with love, Baby. Let’s just go walking in the rain.
Billie Holiday Thanks www.funnyquotes4u.net for this quote
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
One seeks to make the loved one entirely happy, or, if that cannot be, entirely wretched.
Jean de La Bruyere
Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.
Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
W. Somerset Maugham
My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.
A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. Helen Rowland
Love is a serious mental disease.
Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.
You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
The reduction of the universe to a single being,
the expansion of a single being even to God, this is love.
Love is very interesting, providing you make mistakes.
I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
It’s better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Laurence J. Peter
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did.
Love is wrong, and girls are F***ing EVIL.
If love is a game, it has to be the hardest game in the world. After all, how can anyone win a game where there are no rules?
Forget love – I’d rather fall in chocolate!
Sandra J. Dykes
You can’t buy love on Amazon.
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
Miguel de Unamuno
Women fall in love through their ears and men through their eyes.
Pay your money and you take your chance When you’re dealing with love and romance
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, s*x raises some pretty good questions.
Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another.
When love is in excess it brings a man no honor nor worthiness.
Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.
Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
The prerequisite for making love is to like someone enormously.
Love can be sordid only if you work at it.
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope
Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.
Love quickens all senses except, perhaps, common sense.
It’s been so long since I made love,
I can’t even remember who gets tied up.
When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours that’s relativity.
A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
Henry Louis Mencken
Love, the itch, and smell of fart cannot be hid.
how on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Love is like a butterfly, it settles upon you when you least expect it.
Love is blind but after experiencing it for a long time you should become familiar with some particular spots.
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Love is a game of Calvinball.
Love is a hole in the heart.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling it till someone lets it go and hurts the one who held on.
Love is like a glass door… sometimes you don’t see it, and it smacks you right in your face.
One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.
Love is a kind of sensation that is caused by temptation.
Love, love, you know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types like yourself to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers.
St. Elmo’s Fire
Love is a leap … I was never inspired to jump.
Life is messy. Love is messier.